Male Patron: I need some Rogaine.
Me: Excuse me?
MP: [rubbing his head with an index finger] I need some Rogaine to fill in my hair. It's thin. Here ... and here. See? Jeez.
Me: ...
MP: [pointing at my head] Do you have any Rogaine at home? Maybe I could borrow some.
Me: [suddenly feeling insecure about my appearance] No ... No, I don't.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
This Doesn't Have an Ending!
Patron: Hi, is the other lady here?
Me: No, I'm sorry she's not. Is there anything I can help you with?
Patron: Well, I don't know if you can help me ... this here DVD doesn't have an ending
Me: Is it missing a disc? May I see that?
Patron: No, no. It doesn't have an ending ... they can't end this series like that.
Me: [Looking at dvd case] Well here it says "Prison Break 4, The Final
Season." So I think this is in fact the final season of this series.
Patron: Well why would they end it like that, with no ending?
Me: Well maybe that is how they chose to end the series ... or maybe it
got canceled?
Patron: So there isn't anything you can do on the computer?
Me: Well, I am happy to double check, but Season 4 is the final season [I check and confirm this fact.]
Patron walks away in a huff.
Submitted by Anonymous
Me: No, I'm sorry she's not. Is there anything I can help you with?
Patron: Well, I don't know if you can help me ... this here DVD doesn't have an ending
Me: Is it missing a disc? May I see that?
Patron: No, no. It doesn't have an ending ... they can't end this series like that.
Me: [Looking at dvd case] Well here it says "Prison Break 4, The Final
Season." So I think this is in fact the final season of this series.
Patron: Well why would they end it like that, with no ending?
Me: Well maybe that is how they chose to end the series ... or maybe it
got canceled?
Patron: So there isn't anything you can do on the computer?
Me: Well, I am happy to double check, but Season 4 is the final season [I check and confirm this fact.]
Patron walks away in a huff.
Submitted by Anonymous
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Apropos of Nothing
A Female Patron stops by the reference desk after leaving the public computers area.
FP: I had fun on the Internet today.
Gathered librarians: [silence]
FP: Hey, I had fun on the Internet today. I was trying to gross this girl out. I think her name is Sara.
A librarian: Oh, okay.
FP: I told her I was gay.
Gathered librarians: [stunned silence]
FP: But I'm not really gay. Are you gay [other male librarian]?
OML: [off-guard] Uh, no.
FP: [leaving] I've got to go get my groceries ... I should get a dress ... [other unintelligible muttering] ...
FP: I had fun on the Internet today.
Gathered librarians: [silence]
FP: Hey, I had fun on the Internet today. I was trying to gross this girl out. I think her name is Sara.
A librarian: Oh, okay.
FP: I told her I was gay.
Gathered librarians: [stunned silence]
FP: But I'm not really gay. Are you gay [other male librarian]?
OML: [off-guard] Uh, no.
FP: [leaving] I've got to go get my groceries ... I should get a dress ... [other unintelligible muttering] ...
Super Curmudgeon
A Male Patron stops by the reference desk after leaving the public computers area.
MP: I didn't come here today to watch ... this young guy kept walking past my computer with his underwear hanging out.
Gathered librarians: [silence]
MP: You know, their pants hang down around their knees.
A librarian: Yeah, we see a lot of that.
MP: [leaving] This is not my country anymore.
MP: I didn't come here today to watch ... this young guy kept walking past my computer with his underwear hanging out.
Gathered librarians: [silence]
MP: You know, their pants hang down around their knees.
A librarian: Yeah, we see a lot of that.
MP: [leaving] This is not my country anymore.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I Wouldn't Have Guessed
Patron 1: Guess what [unintelligible] gave me?
Patron 2: What?
Patron 1: A case worker.
Submitted by Anonymous
Patron 2: What?
Patron 1: A case worker.
Submitted by Anonymous
Tinnitus Is Not a Disease, But a Symptom
To the guy who, while using our public computers, listens to a hand-held radio, which he positions by his head with his elbow resting on the table ...
WTF?
Get some headphones.
Get a book on back pain.
Get a haircut.
Submitted by Anonymous
WTF?
Get some headphones.
Get a book on back pain.
Get a haircut.
Submitted by Anonymous
In the Teeth of the Evidence
A Female Patron calls and wants to know the order of the books in Dorothy L. Sayer's Lord Peter Wimsey with Harriet Vane. This is after it is established that the woman working upstairs has gone home, and I am now working upstairs. Her tone suggests that it's a struggle to make do (with me).
Me: Okay, well I've got a database here that lists all the Lord Peter books in order, so I would assume that the books with Harriet Vane in them are also in order.
FP: Great, there are four titles available in this store. Could you read the list to me?
At this point, I'm reading off the list of books and get to the 12th one, when I make my fatal mistake.
Me: Looking in the catalog, this is the first one that mentions Harriet in the title.
FP: Oh, well, I've got the 6th book here, and it says she's in this one.
Me: Good, so we know that at least from the sixth book on, they're in order.
FP: But you're in the catalog. I used to catalog mysteries for a library and I know they're not always right.
Me: I'm using the What's Next database.
FP: But that's made up of catalogs. Couldn't you just Google it for me?
Me: ... Uh, sure. Here's a site that ... lookslikeGeocities. It says the sixth one is the first of the Harriet books.
FP: Ok, thanks!
Honestly, if you want someone to Google something for you, call a friend or relative. And if you want an answer that has nothing to do with a library catalog, I can think of one particular place you should avoid calling. Plus, you're buying books someplace. Why not go to a bookstore and get all your needs met in one library-free location?
Submitted by Anonymous
Me: Okay, well I've got a database here that lists all the Lord Peter books in order, so I would assume that the books with Harriet Vane in them are also in order.
FP: Great, there are four titles available in this store. Could you read the list to me?
At this point, I'm reading off the list of books and get to the 12th one, when I make my fatal mistake.
Me: Looking in the catalog, this is the first one that mentions Harriet in the title.
FP: Oh, well, I've got the 6th book here, and it says she's in this one.
Me: Good, so we know that at least from the sixth book on, they're in order.
FP: But you're in the catalog. I used to catalog mysteries for a library and I know they're not always right.
Me: I'm using the What's Next database.
FP: But that's made up of catalogs. Couldn't you just Google it for me?
Me: ... Uh, sure. Here's a site that ... lookslikeGeocities. It says the sixth one is the first of the Harriet books.
FP: Ok, thanks!
Honestly, if you want someone to Google something for you, call a friend or relative. And if you want an answer that has nothing to do with a library catalog, I can think of one particular place you should avoid calling. Plus, you're buying books someplace. Why not go to a bookstore and get all your needs met in one library-free location?
Submitted by Anonymous
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